adding detail task

WALT add supporting detail/ideas to our writing
WALT write a range of correct sentence types

During the holiday, I went to the beach with my friends. We saw there was a volleyball net. We asked a family if we could borrow their volleyball. We played volleyball for about an hour then had some lunch. Before we went home, we gave the volleyball back to the family. I had a lot of fun at the beach with my friends.

Read this simple recount.
What do you notice about the recount?
- Heaps of the sentences started with we
- What could we add to this recount to make it more detailed?
- If we could talk about more stuff in your sentences

Edit this recount above to make it more detailed:

During the holiday, I went to the beach with my friends and my parent’s. We saw there was a volleyball net. We asked a family if we could borrow their volleyball net. We played volleyball for about an hour then had some lunch. Before we went home, we gave the volleyball back to the family. I had a lot of fun at the beach with my friends and parents.